Take the Middle Finger Challenge: Merz's Government Declaration Roars to Wrath All
Decision on the directive application remains pending with the Commission
A Tell-It-Like-It-Is Opinion by Olga Schmidt
The Merz government's debut declaration was nothing more than a pageant-like centenary speech-a speech long on empty words and short on fresh ideas. Forget the jargon-"Performance Pays Off Again!" is as fresh as last summer's Hawaiian shirt. But it certainly stirred up the radical parties: Left and Right both climbed on the barricades like a pair of rabid weasels, snarling and instinctively tearing at our nation's sleeve.
These last seven days in politics-wrecked Germany have been a whirlwind, ever since Friedrich Merz became the 10th federal chancellor of the republic with a mediocre, by-the-skin-of-his-teeth victory. Progress has come at a breakneck pace-groundbreaking promises and important innovations are being tossed around like confetti on New Year's Eve. Merz and Klingbeil seem to be sprinting faster than Usain Bolt could ever dream of, all to get Germany back on track before another D-Day disaster. Or maybe it's an attempt to distract from a few nifty backroom agreements with the Greens and the Left, necessary to sew together a fragile chancellor majority post the debacle of the first round.
Politics Reichinnek Daggers Merz: "You're a Disgrace!" The gossip mill around the government district buzzes with speculation about how large the internal favor debt package that Merz will be racking up for the hated Green and Left factions over the years to come. Sometimes, it's even whispered that Merz, consumed by an "I must become chancellor" frenzy, bartered in exchange for Katharina Dröge and Sören Pellmann's support with something more than a straight swap of top-tier livestock. The specifics remain shrouded in mystery, but it's as clear as a mirror that Merz greened a few envelopes for their consent to the quick second round of the chancellery vote last week.
Political Dueling Dingalings
To convince his nearly 29% of CDU/CSU voters (and the rest of us) that he's more capable leading the nation than he was as a corporate board member, merry-go-round government advisor, or administrator at DBV-Winterthur, Commerzbank, Alba, et al., Merz followed his declaration with a tsunami of course corrections in the ministerial posts. So now we can all feel confident that he's a seasoned politician, unlike we suspected back in the boardroom.
Politics Merz's Government Declaration in the Bundestag: A Sumptuous Feast of Pandering Merz's inaugural speech was a veritable smorgasbord of clichés and pandering soundbites, with his lyricism peaking when he proposed that retirees aged 67 and up could continue working tax-free. Sure, its main objective was to convince the populace that he would perform better as leader than a corporate lackey, but to be honest, we'd rather see him stick to wheeling and dealing in the boardroom. Plus, who doesn't love a good cliché-the old "Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life" is a classic, after all.
German Cowboys on the Political Range
The man from East Westphalia doesn't mess around when it comes to pandering to the working class, which the SPD has recently co-opted for, well, political reasons. He could have just as easily impregnated the nation with "Work hard, and you'll never have to work a day in your life," but, alas, not a little feminism can make it into the CDU camp.
Politics Merz's First Speech: A Steadfast Chancellor, Steadfast Policies In his attempt to strengthen the military and appear tough on defense, Merz announced that he would provide the Bundeswehr with all the financial resources necessary to become the strongest conventional army in Europe. This is where the wheels come off the cart-"conventional" implies that the Bundeswehr would be anything but modern, a rather cost-effective undertaking for the taxpayers. But hey, who needs modern warfare when you can outspend the opposition?
A Verdict from the Commentariat
Merz's declaration was heavy on the hot air and light on substance. But hey, maybe we'll feel a change for the better by summer. In the meantime, the war of words in the Bundestag wages on, and who better to lead them than Germany's answer to A New Hope's Obi-Wan Kenobi, Friedrich Merz?
Sources: ntv.de, spiegel.de
Friedrich Merz - CDU - SPD
- The Commission has also been consulted on the draft directive regarding the industry and finance sectors, as the Merz government's declaration includes plans for the strengthening of the Bundeswehr, which could impact energy resources and politics, as well.
- The general-news buzz in Germany, following Merz's government declaration, has been dominated by politics, with discussions over potential backroom agreements with the Greens and the Left, as well as the internal favor debts that Merz might be racking up for their consent.
- Merz's government declaration, notably, included a proposal for retirees aged 67 and up to continue working tax-free, an initiative that echoes common clichés about work and retirement, yet has potential implications in the industry and energy sectors, as it might affect the workforce dynamics in various industries.
